"I never wish to be easily defined." - Franz Kafka

How do we define ourselves? How must we attach our being to words? We come close, sure. We see ourselves as daughters, sons, siblings, friends, professionals, enthusiasts, but what truly encompasses us? Sometimes we avoid the labels, some times we don't have a choice. The closest I can come to describe it is perhaps nuanced. 

So often in therapy if I ask someone to describe themselves the answers are varied- some speak of being fixer-uppers, some don't want to go beyond names and numbers, some see themselves through the lens of another, some have sought help, others have sought time. 

As the solver that I strive to be, I can't help but see people as puzzles. A piece of this, a piece of that. And after an hour of speaking about timelines, memories, experiences, results, what to do, what not to do, when it comes down to "So, how are you feeling?" you see the person behind the screen. In the last five minutes when you see a person figuring out the whats and whys and hows, you understand that there was never a problem with the person, just a person with a problem. 

Our definitions shackle us. How can you possibly fit a constellation in a jar? We were always meant to spread as far as we can reach, and not once do we owe an explanation for it. That's the beauty behind self-work: you can reach and reach and reach, explore the landscapes within, and the more attuned you get to it, the harder it is to define.

An illustration of Kafka and his prolific literature
via Pinterest